Forgetful

I just left my notebook on top of the drawer, went to the bathroom, made a few side comments to my sister and I was already headed up the stairs when I just remembered I left my notebook. I run down the stairs and for a moment, I silently scold myself for I know that I have forgotten where I put it. In a haste, I push all the things aside on the table, on the sofa and I even look inside my drawers. It's only when I look up that I realize I just left it on top of the drawer.

Why am I so forgetful?

This is not the first time it happened. It's been happening for as long as I can remember. And I dread the next time it'll happen with someone else involved because I know I'd be the one to blame.

Almost anything I hold, be it a remote control, a book, my glasses or even money, I would just leave it in some place where it's not supposed to be. It's because when I need to do something but I'm still holding an object, I would just leave it in order to finish that something and then when I'm done, I would have already forgotten about that object. It's only when I'm in the middle of another activity that I remember about that object.

It's not only the location of an object that I would forget, it's also an event or a conversation that would happen only minutes ago. And then when someone interrupts or something else happens, I completely forget everything else, including that event/conversation.

You could say I get easily distracted and put all my attention into that new event that just happened. And it's true. I do easily get distracted and it seems that there's nothing I could do about it because it's like my nature.

I consider it a curse because if I can't even remember something that just happened minutes ago, that means I might not be able to remember a huge chunk of my life. And remembering a huge part of my life means something to me because I love to look back and reminisce events and moments. It also makes my heart sad to know that those moments would never come back. But back to the point, I really want to change this kind of nature, if not a habit because it's unintentional.

Someday, I will learn why God has given me this kind of curse. And maybe when I do learn why, I wouldn't consider it a curse anymore, maybe I will learn of its importance in my life and I might call it a gift. Someday...